Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
