I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize