I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
