i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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