by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
