All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
