hotel room ftw
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
