I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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