their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My underwear smells like fireworks.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
