I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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