I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
