I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
