I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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