I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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