Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
