I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
