i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize