she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
