i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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