I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
