Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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