I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
