Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
