You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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