i already hear my dad disowning me
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
