If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize