if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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