i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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