Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
