I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize