dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize