I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
