Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Congratulations! We have a period
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