1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
