Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
