There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
