shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
