the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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