Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize