Sponge bath it is.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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