mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
