I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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