AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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