I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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