What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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