oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize
