I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
