God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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