You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
