i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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