when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
