Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
