and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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