so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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