I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
