I'm really into asian looking animals
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
