it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize