And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
