i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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