Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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