She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize