I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
