Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just took my morning after pill in the library
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
