This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize