non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
