so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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