I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
