my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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