if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
