does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
